June 29, 2008

Approching 9 weeks pregnant.
I have been feeling very guilty lately. Bry and I keep calling this baby Jay without even thinking about it. We both always say oopes and get upset, but still. We know this baby isn't Jay, but it stil slips out. I know other people do it too. I guess I've done this everytime I've been pregnant. Without thinking I will think of the baby as the last child but this time is seem worse I guess. Aside from that I have desied what I want for my birthday although I'm sure I'm not going to get it. I want a gift certificate to Fetal Fotos. It's an ultrasound place just up the street from where I live (ok there are several but there is one just up the street) They do 3D/4D ultrasounds and I would love to have one now that this is our last baby. And if I could get an ultrasound around 17 weeks it would make me feel much better (for a moment anyway) as that is when Jay's heart stopped. I think I will go crazy waiting until 20 weeks for an ultrasound. In about a week I should have a good chance at hearing the aby on the doppler too so that will help make me feel better. I guess just having the doppler will have to be enough to get me through the 16-20 week mark.