Sunday, February 22, 2009

Feb 23, 2009

Every pregnancy I dream about the baby except Jay and Peanut. With them i never had a dream of being pregnant or the baby or anything. When I was pregnant with Sky I was dreaming of twins until one day I dreamed I lsot on of them. Sure enough an U/S showed only one baby and a big spot of blood (that was my first U/S so no way to know for sure) I also have dreams of what my baby will look like the next time I'm pregnant and having a baby. It was right with all of my boys. When preg with Sky I had one of him being really little and never being able to see the baby I was carrying around in a car seat. I had the baby but I was never allowed to see it. I really think that was Jay. I had another dream of him looking just like he does now and being huge pregnant and getting ready for a girl. By huge I mean bigger then I have ever been and I think I felt like I still had awhile to go but it was so long ago I can't remember for sure...

Well last night I had one of these kind of dreams!! I am so happy. Add to that I dreamed of (you guessed it) TWINS!!! In the dream one was in a car seat so I didn't get to see it but I KNEW it was in there sleeping away and the other one I got to see. It was so cute and so tiny and so perfect. sigh. I pray these continue.

Oh and after I lost Peanut I had a dream of around Christmas time there were people getting ready for a baby girl and it hurt me so much and then after Christmas but before spring there was a funeral with my dad's family and then I knew I was pregnant and there was a girl...

Well at Christmas DH's family was going on and on about his 17 yr old neice having a girl, my dad passed away a few weeks ago, and I'm pregnant...If I didn't always have dreams like this I would scare myself, I swear! LOL

Now I'm on to positive think that I will heart the HBs with my doppler on DH's birthday. I will be only 8 weeks at the time but I'm still thinking it will happen. I jsut have to go and write it down now.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Feb 8, 2009

How many remember me saying I was going to get a BFP this month? If not scroll down and read. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Are you all caught up now? Ok good.

So I woke up this morning and put off going to the bathroom as long as possible. DH actually sat with me while waiting for the tests and he never does that.
Anyway, I took a dollar tree test. I got really frusterated as I sat there watching it. The control line usually comes right up, but not this time! UGH. As the control line faded, yea faded, in I got frusterated adn told DH to grab me the digital because I hadn't dumped the pee yet (sorry TMI) Well I take the digital too and I'm waiting and waiting and waiting. I'm so used to it comeing up right away! I'm starting to doubt myself. The dollar is negative and the digital is taking forever!!! Well the digital finally comes up and it's sitting on the floor. DH say to me "Negative?" I can tell he's really upset but trying to make sure I'll be ok too. I pick it up and look at him. I'm in shock, I can't believe it, I just can't believe it.

finally pregnant

Monday, February 2, 2009

Feb 2, 2009

Peanut's EDD...

I'm sitting here going crazy...not because of what today should have been but waiting for this weekend and wondering if my future is about to change to the way I dream it will be. Sure I'm a little sad today but I really don't want to let it get me down. I know that things happen for a reason and that I had to lose Peanut to get where I am right now. I made a really great friend because of losing Peanut because she lost her daughter at 12 weeks at the same time I lost Peanut. Now she is expecting again and I couldn't be happier for her! Now we both are waiting (as are many others I think) to see if it's my turn too. sigh

I have 5 days until I can test...5 long days... Ok so they aren't that long it just seems like it right now. I can't wait for it to be Sun!