November 1, 2007

Again I woke up and it took me a minute to remember. Once it hit me, I just couldn’t imagine waiting until almost 2 PM to see my doctor. I started calling the doctor’s office to see if I could come in earlier. It was so hard to make the phone call and make sure they could understand me. Sure enough they told me they would fit me in as soon as I could get there, but I had to be there by 11 AM because they went to lunch then. I left as soon as I got off the phone to catch the train. I got off the train and thought for sure I had missed the bus and would have to wait, nope the bus pulled up to the stop when I was across the street. I thought for sure ti would just pull away, but it sat for a few minutes. When there was a break in traffic Iran across the street to try to catch it and the driver pulled away just as I got to the back of the bus. I was screaming at him to wait, but he didn’t care. Go figure. I just want to get this over with and now I have to sit here for 30 minutes for the next bus. Why can’t I just get this over with? I’m sure everyone at the stop thought I had lost my mind because I was crying over missing the bus, but little did they know just how bad life really was. The next bus that came had to load a wheelchair and the driver took forever to figure out how to do it. He took so long that the other bus that comes after him came and left and we were still sitting there with him trying to hook this wheelchair in. I finally made it to the doctor and it hurt so much to check in and then to sit in the waiting room with pregnant woman around me, some of them were going back for ultrasounds and here I was with a dead baby inside me. It was the worst torture. I finally got to go back to the exam room and was told that the doctor would want to check to see if I was dilating or anything. So he comes in and tells me that this is so rare he sees it maybe once a year. Great, lucky me. From there he checks me and tells me to get dressed and meet him in his office. So I get dressed and go to his office were we talk about what happens now. He had already told me that he recommended labor and delivery because a D&C/D&E were complicated. So he called over to the hospital and set up a meeting with the high risk doctor for when they went to lunch in a few minutes to find out what tests to do. He offered to just send me over to the hospital right then and there, but I told him I had to get my kids to the babysitter first, but that I could be back between 5-7 PM. I left there and started calling people. I called my aunt and she got ready to leave work and said she would stop by the store to get food for the boys while they were there. I called Chas so he could call work and let them know what was happening and that he wouldn’t be there tonight or tomorrow. I got on the bus, and then the train. From there I went straight to Bryson’s school and pulled him out for the day. He was so upset, but there was nothing I could do. I tried to get the doctor to agree to doing it tomorrow, but he couldn’t because it meant that he wouldn’t be there for the delivery and he wanted to be the one to take care of me. It took forever to get out of the house after Bryson and I got there. My mom called and I just couldn’t get her off the phone. Ok I wasn’t sure UI really wanted to get off the phone because the longer it took to get to the hospital they longer I could be in denial. Well we were on the way my doctor called on my cell phone to find out what time I would be to the hospital and I told him it looked like we would be there about 6 PM. We got up to my aunt’s and got the boys settled and left right away to get this over with. On the way Chas and I agreed that he would see Jay before I could so if Jay looked to bad he could tell me not to look and I would trust him. We got to the hospital and had to go to the labor and delivery floor which means telling them why I am there so I can get in. I told them I guess it would be called an induction, that’s the same thing I told them at the desk to check in. Thankfully they took me right to a room and didn’t make me wait. The nurse was so nice. She took 3 viles of blood from the IV before hooking it up. Later they came back and told me that they actually had to take more blood because of all the tests my doctor had ordered. Fine with me, I want to know as much as I can. So they took 3 more viles of blood. They gave me a pill that is for ulcers to induce labor. I had to sign paper saying I was ok with it because it is not approved by the FDA for during pregnancy because it induces labor. Of course there monitor didn’t register the contractions, they never do and soon I started bleeding. The nurse checked my cervix and said it was hard to tell how far I was dilated because the bag of water was hanging out. Kind of like if you pushed a water balloon through a circle. It stayed that way until my water broke the next morning. All of the nurses were so nice and so worried about me. They all really tried to make sure I was ok and do anything and everything we needed them to. My doctor came in and really pushed for me to get an epidural because as he said there were no extra points for pain especially with what I was going through. So I got an epidural at about midnight and it made it so I could get a little bit of sleep.