December 2, 2007

WOW- a vent Ok so I went to the party and we took all of Jay's stuff with to show off and we wore our ribbons. Well after we get there Bryson tells MIL about the ribbons and wants to show her the pictures of Jay. So I give them to him and she just was, disgusted is too harsh but you get the point. My oldest SIL said that she had no idea we had lost a baby, but didn't want to know more. My MIL told me to not show DH's grandma because it would just upset her and gave the impression that I should just put it all away and why would anyone want to see such a thing. When DH's grandma got there she asked me how I was doing after "my M/C" I told her I was ok (lie) and that I had to go through L&D and Jay was really close to being a stillborn (ok that was a lie, but I hate it when people call him a "M/C" seeing as how I have his hand and foot prints, pictures, and everything) Then when SIL#2 got there she said hi to me, actually calling my name to get my attention to say hi to me. She is the one that I always thought didn't like me the most, yet she is the only one who called us too. After awhile she asked us if we had 4 boys, because she thought we only had 3 for some reason. I made a comment about Jay making 5 boys and so she started talking to us a little bit about Jay. Awhile later after everyone got there, DH asked me if I had shown Jay's box or anything to anyone and I told him no because his mother told me to put it away. So he got out the "Merry Christmas From Heaven" ornament that we were given to show to people. Everyone loved it, and couldn't believe that someone online that I had never met would send something so thoughtful. They all said she must be a wonderful incredible woman DH showed it to his grandma and I made sure she saw the back and she says "Oh you named it?" It hurt but I know that in her time they didn't do such a thing so I didn't let it get to me. She also said that she would like to see the pictures some time, but they were leaving so she couldn't right then. As we were getting ready to leave SIL#2 comes out because she wants to see Jay's things. She say his pictures and his box. I told her the story of the blanket and she agreed that it was a sign. She also took one of the cards I made to remember Jay. she was the only one to take a card actually. So I guess this isn't much of a vent, other then it hurt so much to be told to put all of it away so I didn't offend anyone. In reality I learned something today- the one SIL that I thought would be the worst about all of this way the best to me today. I guess it just goes to show that even though people can be terrible and you think they don't like you once something like this happen you really learn the truth. I was so shocked that she was the one to stand up and be nice out of everyone