July 14, 2008

2 days 21 hours 11 min until I will be at the hosptial for the first trimester screening and ultrasound. I still havent been able to get the heartbeat with the doppler and it makes me worry. I know that I probably am just to early to hear the heartbeat but it doesn't make me feel any better. I can't shake this feeling that the baby is gone and that it's my fault because of everything that has happened this last week. UGH! I hate waiting and not knowing. I jsut want Thursday to come and go already, but at the same time I don't want it to ever get here. I felt this same way with Jay's ultrasound, which just makes me worry more.