Jan 23, 2009

So I'm better today. Last night Chas and I talked (a little) and I know he is jsut trying to protect me (even though he doesn't come right out and say it) I crashed really hard after Jay and even harder after Peanut. And every month that goes back gets harder too. I'm sure it can't be easy on him to see me like that month after month, over and over. So now here I sit. Back to looking to the positive. It doesn't hurt anymore to think positivly then it does to be ready for the bad so I'm going to think happy thoughts and be positive that it will happen this month and I'll have my twins in my arms in Oct =)

I can see it all perfectly. I can feel it. I live it over and over in my mind. It WILL happen. I know it will. =)