Jan 14, 2009

It seems now I have way to much time so it's easier to post more often. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing ;)

So another month is gone, only 3 more cycles left to keep trying and then that's it. If I don't have a baby by the end of the year Ijust won't have another one. Like I mentioned in my last post Ihave this thing with the movie The Secret right now. It jsut makes so much sense to me. The only problem is that there is so much emotion behind what I want- both good and bad. So I'm not sure which one will win. I have been spending time today visualizing myself in the moments of when I get my BFP, being at the U/S, and at the delivery. Thankfully I have a really good imagination so it all seems very real. I always end up so happy that I'm crying. I really hope that emotion is strong enough to get results fast. It just has to be. The only problem I have is that Ican't seem to decide on what gender I want the twins to be. That is making it hard to really see the delivery in full and the moments after. I keep going back and forth from 2 girls to a girl and a boy. Money wise it woudl be better to go for 2 girls because Ihave gotten rid of everything so I would only have to buy girl stuff that they could share, other wise I would have to buy both boy and girl stuff. Although if I REALLY wanted to think about money I would give up having another one as a bad idea anyway. I've also been going back and forth on when I get pregnant with my twins if I want to tell people we are having twins or not. Of course, then I couldn't even post it here because a lot of people I know IRL read this....hmmm I will have to figure that out. But for right now all my thoughts, all my energy, every emotion I can is getting put into getting pregnant with twins and having them happy and healthy and in my arms in Oct. The law of attraction. This is going to work. =)