Jan 12, 2009

20 months.

That's how long it has been sense we decided to have another baby.

As another month is passing now I keep trying to think that it will happen in time. But time has almost run out. In June Chas will get fixed and that will be the end of it. Either I will have a baby by the end of the year or I will never have one again. I called my dr's office again today and talked to the nurse. She told me that I should come in and see if the dr can help in anyway. I only have 3 months left though, what if I put all that effort into trying just to have it do nothing? Then I might as well have just done nothing only I will have spent so much money on stuff to try to make it work. As much as I want to do everything I can, I know it won't change anything. Nothing I do or don't do won't change the way this ends. I just wish I knew for sure how it would end.

I watched the movie "The Secret" not too long ago and I've been trying to use that. Every time it doesn't happen though I can't help but wonder if it really does work, then I stop myself and keep telling myself it will happen.

For those that haven't seen "The Secret" I really recomend you do. It jsut might change your life. Basically it is about the law of attraction, meaning whatever we think about we bring into our lives. So I'm asking anyone and everyone that reads this please start thinking that I'm going to get pregnant with happy healthy twins and be holding them by the end of the year. Maybe if enough of us think it, it will happen faster =) At the very least it can't hurt, right?

So AF should be here on Weds. I caved and took a dollar store test last night and got a bfn so I'm sure I'm out this month, and I'm ok with it. Probably because of my positive thinking. So stick with me now while I do something that the movie suggests.

It's Valentine's day 2009. Chas and I are sitting together and the boys have gone to bed. I'm over the moon and just waiting for the perfect time to tell him that I'm pregnant. He has no clue because I've been so careful to not let on. When I tell him he is just as happy as I am.

It's March 12, 2009, Chas' birthday. I've been to the dr and they did an U/S. They found 2 heartbeats. All I told Chas was that everythign looked good. Today is when I tell him that we are having not one but two. Even though he has told me that he doesn't want twins, he is still happy, shocked, but happy.

It's June 3rd, 20 weeks. I have made it this far and everything looks great. The twins are still doing great and everything is wonderful. Chas really wants to know the genders but we decide to not find out. Although we ask for gender shots anyway in an envelope. I'm really good at telling gender so we can still find out ;)

It's Sept 30th, 37 weeks. I've made it to full term and am being induced today. The twins are still doing great but because there are 2 of them it's not a good idea to wait any longer. They are born on Oct 1st. Both perfect and healthy. We bring them home a few days later and life is just perfect. =)