Oct 24,2008

"One time is all it takes."

How many times have we all heard that? That's what they teach in schools andany safe sex class actually "One tim is all it takes" Ok sure some times one time is all it takes but lets be honest- you onyl have a 15-20% chance of getting pregnant every month. For the majority of couples it takes 3-6 months to get pregnant and for a lot it can take a year or more! And for those that have been trying they know that "one time is all it takes" actually means setting your alarm just to wake up and reach for that stupid basal body temp thermometor and stick it in your mouth while laying in bed wishing you could go to the bathroom but knowing that if you do it will mess it up and praying that you didn't sleep with your mouth open. And then you find out that discharge that you have always hated is actually a good thing and that without it you can't even get pregnant so instead of getting upset when your underwear gets soaked with it you get excited because it means you now have a chance and you call your husband to come home on his lunch so you don't risk missing out that month. And then there's the fact that you have to install security cameras all over the house jsut to watch your husband to make sure he isn't wasting his swimmers. And for the ones that have been trying to long you figure out that there are more then just X and Y sperm and that your chances have a lot to do with what your guy is thinking when the deed is done. Like if he thinks you have been spending too much time with the mailman or pool boy then he will have a ton of suicidal sperm that don't care who's side the other sperm are on. If they are there, they must die. Of course men have these anyway, but they have more of them if in any part of there brain they think there is a chance you have been with someone else. Add to that what I call the terrorist sperm. These are the ones that are a few genes short of set but race ahead of all the other sperm to infiltrate the egg first. They get all nice and cozy making you so comfortable and happy in your new future just to explode the bomb or crash the plane. That's when reality hits and you realize that you are miscarrying...(for the record, yes I know it can be the egg that is a few genes short but it's much funner to blame the sperm so don't burst my bubble)

"One time is all it takes" Only for the lucky few the rest of us have to learn way, way, WAY too much and still come up short.